“Between You And Me” – Growing Up

I think most of us never truly feel our actual age, at least not in terms of mindset. I still feel young and enjoy many of the same things I did when I was younger. Of course, personality changes with age, but it’s only when I look in the mirror or feel the aches and pains that I realise I’m older. I still don’t always recognise myself as a grown-up.

As a child and young adult, I was incredibly fortunate. I never faced any major challenges growing up. I sailed through the first 35 years of my life relatively easily, with only minor issues to contend with. My family life was stable, and I didn’t experience any serious illnesses, deaths, or anything that forced me to confront the reality of adulthood. I worked hard and had a lot of fun. Well into my mid-thirties, I was still out drinking, going on nights out, and not considering myself particularly grown-up.

The first time I truly felt like an adult was in my mid-thirties. While many amazing things happened like meeting my wife, real-world problems also started to hit home. I had to deal with burglary, theft, numerous family losses, redundancies, bad luck, family illness, and personal illness. Then, in my late forties, I lost my parents. With challenges like these came responsibilities and the need to face things head-on. You don’t have a choice but to deal with these problems directly, and through that, you inevitably realise you’ve grown up. I also had others to support, just as I was supported by my wife and family.

It’s not that I couldn’t have faced the more challenging aspects of life at a younger age; I was simply lucky to have lived so long without those more trying and negative experiences. In many ways, I’d always tried to act responsibly and maturely. My parents encouraged independence, and I worked hard in my career. But I wouldn’t have called myself “grown-up” then, I was slow to seize personal opportunities like relationships, learning to drive, or buying a house. My family often had to give me a push in those areas, while my ambition was focused mainly on my career rather than my personal life.

Realising I was a grown-up later in life is really a reflection of how fortunate I was. I’d been somewhat shielded, not intentionally, it just happened that way. But eventually, life caught up and threw situations. Thankfully life also presented some positive life changing experiences, such as becoming a Dad and husband. There is no doubt becoming a parent/husband helps you feel older and grown up!

When did you first feel grown-up? I suspect many people experienced that moment far earlier than I did.