⭐️⭐️ 2

My recent streak of strong cinema viewings came to an end tonight with a film I knew going in had divided audiences. While it is certainly not the worst film I have ever sat through, it lands firmly in the “watchable for the wrong reasons” category, reminiscent of a quirky 1970s or 80s Children’s Film Foundation production designed to nurture young talent, just with a lot more blood.

Directed by Eli Roth, the film features an ensemble cast primarily made up of children and leans into a surreal, cartoonish Americana nostalgia. Some technical aspects genuinely stand out. The artistic production boasts a retro 50s-inspired aesthetic, and the ice cream van mascot is a visual highlight. The atmospheric soundtrack, particularly associated with the ice cream van is well done.

The young ensemble cast tries their absolute best, and ironically, some of the weakest acting actually comes from the adult cast members. Unfortunately, the film’s ambitions outstrip its execution, resulting in a confusing mess. After a slow start, some introduced characters vanish for large chunks of the runtime, leading to poor storytelling and a weak, unsatisfying conclusion.

The visual effects are mixed at best, ranging from decent to cheap. Intended as a horror, it plays out more like unintentional slapstick comedy. Despite some gore, it lacks the suspense necessary to qualify as a true horror film and has zero scares. I thought I was watching scenes from The Simpsons “Itchy and Scratchy” cartoon segments at times. 

Sitting in the cinema, I realised I wasn’t alone in my assessment; a couple nearby were openly laughing at the film’s poor quality, making their own fun and jokes to enjoy movie. I can’t say I blame them and I enjoyed getting their views at the end (thank you).

Ultimately, Ice Cream man had potential. The art direction and the basic premise of the ice cream man could have worked under tighter direction. It will likely find a niche audience for the “so bad it’s good” crowd. At just under 90 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, but definitely don’t pay fulll price to see and save it for a cinema pass or a discounted screening if you are genuinely curious.

  • Good: Sound design and art direction
  • Poor: Story and plotting
  • Acting: Okay at best

In Eli Roth’s horror-slasher film Ice Cream Man, an idyllic suburban town plunges into a bloodbath when a mysterious vendor arrives and distributes sweet frozen treats that brainwash the local children into homicidal, zombie-like maniacs.As the possessed youth launch a gruesome wave of violence against the town’s adults, a lactose-intolerant boy named Jared and a small handful of unaffected classmates must evade the carnage and uncover the dark, supernatural vengeance tied to the vendor’s past before the entire community is destroyed.

Online synopsis 

Film Rating

Music/Sound

4 out of 5

Story/plot

1 out of 5

Acting/Performances

2.5 out of 5

Overall

2 out of 5

Certification: 18
Running time: 86 minutes
Screening type: 2D

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About the author

Martin Brophy is the creator of everythingelse.blog, a UK-based culture and entertainment blog covering film, television, live events and nostalgic media. With a background in customer service, logistics, IT and management, he brings a sharp eye for audience experience and value to every review. He is also the creator of Magic Seats, a dedicated content channel spotlighting UK magic shows and performers.

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